Imaginary Friends

Mark Pinder, (an anti-TikToker) asked a very interesting question about a dog and a wife.

Dear Mark,

I respect your anti-TikTok perspective, so I will answer the question.

The issue of pets in a relationship can be quite contentious. It may lead to fights, fits of rage, and sometimes even divorce. So, it is certainly a question worth taking seriously.

Here’s the interesting thing about your wife. And it may be hard for you to hear, but sometimes a life coach, especially a crappy one, must be direct.

You don’t have a wife. That’s not a wife in your bed. It may be a squatter or an imaginary friend.

The best way to deal with a fake wife is to yell and scream. Say things like, “Why the hell are you always doing this to me? I’ve done everything right. Tell me what I’m doing wrong!” Then when you hear the silence of the imaginary wife, say “Fuck you, I hate it when you play the silent treatment game.”

Then of course feed the dog, or it will eat you during your sleep. The dog is real.


Your crappy life coach

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